How I Started Modelling Nude On The Internet
I am from Colombia, a very conservative country, where anything that is out of the ordinary is seen as taboo and society is in charge of reproving and condemning it. Despite that, I had a special interest in lingerie and the Boudoir photography style, but I never imagined that I would end up modelling naked on the internet.
I moved to Spain and I could immediately perceive a more liberal and open mind environment, even seeing how people are dressed in the street, each with their own style regardless of what others think. After a few months like any immigrant, I began to check different job advertisement sites and it was in one of them that I read a post that I immediately found interesting: “Looking for females to model nude, aged 18+, who are happy and healthy”.
When I saw the ad I did not apply immediately, although I admit that I was very curious to know if they would choose me. I started looking for information about people with experience in the world of nudist and erotic modelling, I was surprised by the amount of information on the subject and everything that is related to this, I ended up reading the Blog of a girl from Colombia who makes a living webcamming. It was very interesting to read the perception of a person from my country on that matter.
Complementing my research, on Netflix I found audiovisual material that caught my attention, a documentary series called “Hot Girls Wanted: Turn on”, in different episodes, it describes the experiences of different people related to some type of erotic/sexual work. Seeing real people talking about how they came to the industry and what their process has been, helped me to resolve some doubts I had about it, even my curiosity led me to see some interesting films that tell stories based on the experiences of webcams and escorts ( The Girlfriend Experience, Cam, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Bruna Surfistinha).
I did have concerns, the main one being that my family and friends could find the content and what the consequences would be since people can be cruel when it comes to intimate topics.
Before applying for the job on the advert, I shared my intentions with some friends in Spain who encouraged me to do it. However, I tried to bring this up with friends from Colombia and their shocked reaction and rejection were immediate so I decided not to talk about it with them again.
I decided to follow my instincts and see how far I would be able to go, considering that at any time I could back down my application. Fortunately, the team of the company to which I applied was quite serious and professional, it felt like I was applying for a totally formal job so I had a good feeling to go ahead and experience something new. In addition, during part of the process, my boyfriend was a fundamental piece as he supported me in taking new steps in this new experience and that made me feel more comfortable with the new things that came with it.
At first, I did a couple of solo photo shoots and films. I remember on my first shoot being quite nervous but excited at the same time about it. The team around it really helped me feel comfortable with myself, and the cameras. Not long after I then decided to explore my limits a little further and I did some girl-girl scenes and then also webcamming. Reflecting on it I feel this all has really helped me to empower myself more than I would have imagined and I also discovered that I have a special attraction to being seen naked, which years ago I would have considered a “sin”!
However, what I was fearing the most happened, and someone who knew me back in Colombia saw a nude photo of me with another girl on a social media advert, and then shared it with other people I know. Eventually, a close friend dared to tell me, and challenged me about it. This moment was pivotal for me. I was in shock, and a little frightened that my family could find out. However, it was also a first-hand experience of the double moral standards my culture has. It was an eye-opening event to know that people close to me had shared nude photos of me among themselves and had talked about it, very likely judging my choices, but no one dared to ask me about it.
Reflecting on it I feel this all has really helped me to empower myself more than I would have imagined and I also discovered that I have a special attraction to being seen naked, which years ago I would have considered a “sin”!
When I think about it, I feel this whole process has totally changed me. For starters I have a very good relationship with my body and with nudity, especially comparing it to my past attitude towards it, highly influenced by my upbringing in a moralistic two-faced society.
I have learned that behind every sex worker there is a human being, with feelings, stories, and situations, and I am no one to judge those choices. I’ve learned that people who show their nude body, do it for different reasons, and in my case, it has brought me a lot of courage and empowerment. In the end, underneath all the external layers we have (both psychological and physical), nudity is one of the most intimate, honest, true, and special states we can have because being naked we have nothing else to hide.